MAYBE, JUST MAYBE: JANUARY 2022 EDITION

Look, it’s totally clear that we’re all different. And I’m not talking about politics here—I mean what we like, or don’t, in daily life.

I’ve never liked vacations. Not as a kid, not during college and definitely not from work. I like the action, the competition. This is a game that we’re all privileged to play, and I never want the season to end.

But I’ve learned through the years that time off during the holidays can be tolerable. I’m not going to miss anything because there’s no game to play. Still, I was always the last one sitting at my desk as Team HITS finished up their pre-holiday time and dropped in to say hi and bye. President Karen Glauber would always stop by and make me clean off the multitude of papers, promo items and Christmas cards I’d piled up everywhere. By “make me,” I mean she would hold items up and say, “Can I throw this out?” Yes, yes and yes.

Then I’d look around and feel the silence, give up and go home.

This year was different, with everyone working from home and no office to leave. So I decided that I was really going to stop for two weeks. I’d watch movies, read some books that had been stacking up, watch sports, listen to my vinyl collection and truly relax.

That’s who I am: I’d rather watch a Clippers game on TV than schlep to the airport and white-knuckle it through a flight full of ill-mannered and possibly infectious passengers so I can check out the Acropolis. Not that I have anything against travel—I enjoyed watching legal eagle Jason Boyarski and his family on their journey through Europe. Instagram gives me a window on the world as my friends head to Hawaii, Mexico, the Caribbean and other destinations.

As for me, I’ve been living in Laguna Beach for most of the pandemic. I had a plan.

FAVORITE MOVIES OF 2021

Belfast
CODA
The Harder They Fall
The Hand of God

Well, it seemed like a plan. On the first day of my “holiday,” my main TV broke. I spent most of the day on the phone with DirecTV; over the course of several hours on hold, I was repeatedly assured that I was a valued customer. I remained pleasant, hoping to just get an appointment. When that didn’t happen, my wife grabbed the phone and started yelling. We were then promptly informed that a technician would arrive in two days. And that I'm a valued customer.

The next day, I decided to get out of the house and buy some holiday presents and stop at Handel’s for ice cream. That went well until my tire went flat on the way home. (I was surprised to discover that today’s new cars—such as my hybrid—are generally not equipped with spare tires, which was a very interesting thing to learn. It cost me half a day.) After several more hours of waiting pleasantly (mostly on hold), I was finally rescued. Another adventure notched during this relaxing vacation.

FAVORITE BOOKS READ DURING THE HOLIDAY

Harlem Shuffle by Colson Whitehead
The Outlier: The Unfinished Presidency of Jimmy Carter by Kai Bird
Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead

After my double hiccup of a vacation start, things started to fall in place. I dove into my books and listened to a lot of Joni Mitchell. I used the time to double down on my physical therapy and strengthen my post-surgery right knee. I had fun doing this year’s Fantasy Golf league draft with veterans like Rob Light, John Frankenheimer and Tom Mackay and welcomed new participant Aaron Bay-Schuck to the golf trash-talk craziness. I really appreciated this year’s Kennedy Center Honors for Joni Mitchell, Bette Midler and Berry Gordy. Brittany Howard's singing Joni accompanied by Herbie Hancock on piano and Billy Porter's camping onstage as Bette were highlights, as was the rousing finale with Stevie Wonder, who played a few smashes for Berry. And all with President Biden and Dr. Jill cheering from the loge.

But now vacation is over and the game is again afoot. We are hopeful that the latest wave of the pandemic will come and go with minimal harm and maximum speed. We know how to survive now; we know when it's time to wait and be safe. It’s time again to be shepherds of our greatest voices.

I find myself feeling quite optimistic about the new year—I believe that Omicron will pass and things will be much safer in March. But that’s just me, the odd guy who doesn’t like vacations.

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NOW WHAT?
We have no fucking idea.
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AI IS ALREADY EATING YOUR LUNCH
The kids can tell the difference... for now.
WHO'S BUYING THE DRINKS?
That's what we'd like to know.
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